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Last updated at 15:37 (UK time) 26 Oct 2009

The MBFR Songbook

Détente in Europe, 1972-76: The MBFR Song-book

On his return from Vienna in November 1974 Crispin Tickell, of the FCO's Western Organisations Department, noted with regard to the camaraderie he had witnessed between Eastern and Western delegates that they 'even (had) a song-book for use in the evenings'. The origins of this MBFR songbook lay in the very difficulties delegates had experienced in establishing a social rapport. Sir Clive Rose later recalled that the failure of 'orthodox' dinner parties to break the ice (the Soviet delegates had claimed that 'all Russians (were) equally proletarian and (did not) indulge in such bourgeois activities') had forced Western diplomats to consider more imaginative ways of avoiding protracted periods of stilted conversation with their Warsaw Pact colleagues. It was, in fact, 'Jock' Dean, of the American delegation, who 'hit upon the idea of singing together'. With the concurrence of Mr Khlestov, (described by Sir Clive as 'an opera singer manqué'), the singing sessions became a regular feature of the diplomatic social scene. Under the direction of Mr Dean, national songs from all of the participating countries were assembled into one volume and, as illustrated below, a few were 'adapted' with MBFR-themed lyrics. Although the Austrian and foreign press corps soon heard rumours of these choral gatherings, the singing diplomats were careful to ensure that no copies of the songbook fell into journalistic hands: 'This (was) probably', Sir Clive observed, 'the only example of a 'NATO' document which never leaked - and of course it was in the interests of East and West that it shouldn't ...the press would no doubt have had a field day if they had managed to get hold of it.'

Oh, When These Bloody Talks Are Over

(Tune: Oh, What a Friend We Have in Jesus)

Oh, when these bloody talks are over,
Oh, how happy I shall be.
I will spend my life in clover.
No more plenaries for me.

No more Ad Hoc Group on Sundays.
No more guidance we must quote.
We won't have to tell the Chairman
How our spokesman should emote.

No reporting to the Council.
No more formulations fine.
Let them print it in Die Presse,
No more talking, just more wine.

When next the merry widow dances
And sings her way across the stage,
We will be back home in capitals
Trying to earn an honest wage.

Refrain:
Oh when these bloody talks are over,
Oh, how happy I shall be.

The Negotiators

(Tune: The Whiffenpoof Song)

From the tables down at Grinzing,
To the place where Kreisky dwells,
To the dear old Plenaries we love so well

Sing the 'negotiators' assembled
With our glasses raised on high
And the magic of our singing casts its spell.

Yes, the magic of our singing
Of the songs we love so well
'Stenka Ryazin', and 'The Dienstmann' and the rest

We will advance our agreed positions,
While life and breath shall last,
For we think that our proposal is the best.

We are poor little emissaries
who have lost our way
Baa, baa, baa

We are little plenipotentiaries
who have gone astray,
Baa, baa, baa

Gentlemen negotiators off on a spree
Doomed from here to eternity
May God have mercy on such as we,
Baa, baa, baa